- The Clocks of Heaven

Donald Rumsfeld died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "what are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "those are lie-clocks. Everyone on Earth has a lie-clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said Rumsfeld, "Whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. the hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"incredible," said Rumsfeld. "and whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked Rumsfeld. "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."